Last week I took my family away for a little stay by the ocean. Me and the three kids piggybacked on the tail end of my mum, my sister’s and my niece’s week getaway that they had planned. The idea was that the cousins could have all this time to explore and enjoy each other's company. I had booked the safari tent for a glamping experience at one of our favourite caravan parks.
Over Christmas and New Year, our family went on a big adventure overseas to multiple countries. As a result of that we often stayed in rooms where all of us were all together. One thing I really missed since we returned to Australia and back to our busy life and all of its commitments, was this space of us being together. Sure, it has its challenges and sure, it was a bit of a balancing act, but actually I felt really safe and liked having my kids and my husband all together. Yes, there was snoring, farting, complaining and wiggling people noisy in their beds. But there was something so much more enriching about knowing that they weren’t too far away.
Since we have returned home, I've really been resenting the walls that have been dividing us. The doors have been closed and our family returned back to the oasis of their own bedrooms with very little engagement or connection, unless they were hungry.
I booked the safari tent to bring back the closeness of our trip. One big room, and boy, were the kids disgusted there was no TV in the space. I was delighted!!
While we were there, the town was hit with crazy weather, overnight we had large amounts of rain and wind. Being in a tent meant we heard every single sound. Every frog, every tree swayed, every bit of rain splattered on the roof of this canvas tent. At some times it was a little unsettling, but it was okay because we had each other close.
Day one, we all got to know and remember what it's like to be together in confined spaces. Finding that mindfulness so as to remember this space belonged to not one single person but to the group so being thoughtful about your belongings. Day 2 found us settled and saw our 14yr old actually saying “Mum, I like this. I like that we are all in together”. I replied, “Me too mate, it makes my heart happy”.
I really enjoyed the nostologic feeling of laying in bed and chatting to the people I love and care about. Falling asleep at night chatting and then waking up in the morning still being under our doona and chatting some more. Our little 7yr old slept with me and having that little warm, snuggly plump body next to me was reassuring even if he did kick me multiple times in the back while he spelt. LOL
Again, we've returned home to multiples of walls blocking us off from one another. And I realized that it's part of my responsibility as the adult to create engaging things to do with our kids. I think what's happened in our house is having a mum that has worked from home for the last 13years, our kids have had to entertain themselves. Maybe they think that since I'm on the computer they jump on their items of entertainment. Everyone thinks that everyone else has got something else to do and they just entertain themselves. The hardest part is that when I'm at home I spend a lot of my time on my laptop working because I love it. I love what I'm doing. I love my work and I think “well if they are all happy doing their own thing, then I might as well get a few things ticked off my never-ending list”.
As we come to the end of school holidays, we are well aware that we are about to enter into some of the busiest sports sessions in our house of the year - Winter sports. Football will be in full swing and Soccer is back for our youngest. Our daughter will be preparing for her dance competitions. So life is about to get busier again. We have made some restrictions this year, everyone is only doing one sport at a time. When we had 3 kids doing 2 sports each, we never saw each other, and the siblings became strangers and overtired. It's just a matter of taking those in-between moments and refilling them with really wonderful moments. Like having sleep outs on couches, special breakfasts, creating an activity a month where we were all together.
I recently got talking to a lady in a local store who asked “Who I was and what I do”. I explained to her that I was a mum of the three kids and married with two businesses. And she looked at me she said, “oh boy, you are deep in the trenches.” I didn't really understand it at the time. I knew she was talking about war and battle. I thought initially she meant the war and battle was between us as family members, the battle was of balance between stillness and action, movement and rest. That’s a much tricker battle.
So, I wish all of the families who are about to enter into the balancing phase as we return to school and all the routine and commitments we have, to find the importance of rest. The rest of the soul that is deeply nourishing. Coming together in community with connection. Well, that’s what in my daydreams for my family anyway.
Take care everybody and enjoy your week ahead.
As always, thank you for reading.
